I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that Spanx makes swimwear.
This is how the model looks in Spanx swimwear:
The bad news is that Spanx makes swimwear.
This is how I look in Spanx swimwear:

This is how the model feels when she's putting on her Spanx swimwear:
This is how I feel when I'm putting on my Spanx swimwear:

And that's all I have to say about that.

