Meanwhile, here’s a top-ten list of catch-up things to tide us over for the summer (and fall) (or until Tuesday) (I just don’t know):
1. Much to the relief of my family, I did not fall off of my shoes and land on my Spanx-encrusted arse at my oldest daughter Kristen's wedding as expected. In fact, the wedding went off without a hitch, except that the bride and groom were hitched, of course.
2. My big toenail did have to be removed two weeks before the wedding (yes, Deb, pus was involved) (no, Debbie, no hot toe doctor was involved) (yes, the same toe that has been the bane of my existence since October 2008) (three times now the nail has been removed) (I’m keeping score) (I found a toe doctor within walking distance from my house) (to save on gas) (except that I can't walk so well) (obviously). The morning of the wedding I painted the skin on my toe with New-Skin Liquid Bandage and then two coats of polish to match the other nine nails. It didn’t look too bad. True story.
3. The Mac Prep + Prime that the Mac God sold me before the wedding kept my face from melting off during the outdoor ceremony that took place in temperatures all up in the 90s, yo. I do not do product reviews or endorsements, and I’m not going to start with an unpaid one for Mac Prep + Prime. However, I am highly recommending and endorsing the activity of getting yourself a Mac God. Everybody should have one of his or her own.
4. I am not selfishly savoring snapshots (appalling attempt at alliteration, apologies), but have 3,768 photos from the totally awesome bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception to sort through. I will post some photos someplace or other when some sort of sorting and uploading is accomplished. Meanwhile, we need a few photos of the dress (that Kristen designed) (true story) and whatnot to tide us over:
Pictured (click photo to enlarge):
Kristen & Adam; Kristen & Adam
Kristen
Courtney; Laura
Tom, Laura, Cheri, Kristen & Courtney
5. Speaking of saving on gas (see number two above), my Volvo does not. But with fold-down third-row seating and room for five passengers, I get picked to drive for my youngest daughter’s class field trips (I actually like doing this) (what?) (I really do). It was also awesome for helping Courtney move in May, and it was great for taking a two-week road trip that included Kristen & Adam’s wedding preparation and festivities in June. I have had the car for two years now, and after several days on pain medication (see number six below) I finally named my car, Ikea, owing to its very large size and being Swedish.
6. Immediately upon my return home following the wedding, I had a tooth extraction and bone graft (to be followed by a dental implant in a few months) and the aforementioned pain medication. Apparently, so much pain medication was involved during my recovery period that when our family played Scattergories one evening, the letter rolled was “D,” and under the category of brand names Laura wrote "Darvocet." True story.
7. I put off this extraction/bone graft procedure until after the wedding because I knew that I would need all of my energy to pull up my Spanx before the ceremony. And because I was a tad freaked out about the source of the “donor material,” a euphemism for BONE TAKEN FROM SOME UNKNOWN PERSON’S CORPSE, that would be grafted into my head. Think about it! If Albert DeSalvo were the donor, I might end up wanting to strangle someone at the wedding. As it turns out, I’ve been having random urges to marry a billionaire and become a TrimSpa spokesperson, so guess who it is that I’m thinking provided the “donor material” for my bone graft?
8. Possibly still under the influence of Darvocet (not an endorsement, obviously), I asked my wife if we could throw an African-themed Bon Voyage for Jamie (who was on her way to Swaziland) and Happy Birthday party for Courtney's dog, Rafiki (aka "thebrindledog"). True Story. Kate read Go Dog Go to the children and the piñata was filled with doggy treats. Also True Stories.
9. I have tickets to see Adam Lambert’s Glam Nation Tour concert. Duh. I am so excited and expect to be having my usual multiple Lambergasms! Duh. I am going with my youngest daughter, my husband, and my wife. Duh. I will be wearing my biker boots and leather bracelet with the metal spikes. Duh. Laura, Kate and I have already planned to put purple streaks in our hair. Duh. But I really need help deciding which of my four (yes, I have four) (what?) Adam Lambert T-shirts to wear:
a., b., c., or d.?
(Sorry I don't have photos of my chest in the last two shirts, Stu.)
10. Finally, I have another decision that I need help with. Not nearly as important as what shirt to wear to the Adam Lambert concert, but still. In fact, I am ashamed to admit this publicly (whereas I don’t mind telling you that I wore painted toe skin and Spanx to my daughter’s wedding), but I am going to need a new washer and dryer, you know, for doing the L-word. Hello, my name is Cheri, and I have done laundry. There. They say that admitting it is the first step in getting rid of the problem. Meanwhile, do you have or plan to buy a particular washer/dryer that you like/dislike? Tell me. Please.
So. That’s it. Except that during my new-agey-clichéd living-in-the-present-moment blogging break that may or may not last all summer or fall or until Tuesday, I plan to continue some random drive-by visiting of OPBs (Other People’s Blogs). Until then . . . please help me with numbers 9 and 10 above. Thank you.
Love, Cheri
XO
P.S. I'm off the Darvocet now. True Story. Heh.
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