For the Now-Twenty-Three-Year-Old Hero Who Survived the Assault of John Albert Gardner in 2000

I keep finding in the news, on blogs, and other places that people publish opinions (sometimes disguised as, or obscured with, facts) the message that you were “spared from having to testify at trial” and your attacker was released from prison after serving only five years, only to attack more young girls just like you. That message might mislead some to draw conclusions that would be wrong. And it breaks my heart to think that it might be hurting you.

I know that you weren’t spared at all.

I know that although you weren’t spared, you spoke up back then.

John Albert Gardner was not released too soon from prison to attack other girls because you didn’t testify at trial. He was put in prison because you did speak up, for yourself and for those other girls. He was released too soon because our laws do not adequately protect victims of sex crimes. He attacked those other girls because he is a monster.

The fact that he was still able to harm others is a failure of our society and our legal system. But you – at the tender young age of thirteen – did all that you could do to stop him, and you did stop him for as long was possible given our woefully inadequate legal system.

Our stories ought to dispel the notion that not testifying at trial is the problem. I can’t tell your story, but I want to try to shine a light on it by telling another from three perspectives, all mine. In particular, I want to pick apart the fallacy that you were spared. My purpose is to honor you, and other girls like you, who speak up. And, I’m not forgetting for a minute that there are many more girls of all ages and in a wide variety of circumstances unable to speak for themselves, so we have to speak up for them, too, whenever we are able.


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A Prosecutor’s Perspective

I lay claim to the prosecutor’s perspective because I worked in the office of the Los Angeles District Attorney as a certified law clerk during my last year of law school. I assisted the D.A. with hundreds of cases, including sex crimes, and prosecuted over sixty felony preliminary hearings on my own. I learned in law school, working as a Judicial Extern for a federal judge, and during my time in the D.A.’s office that most cases are resolved by a plea agreement. There are many reasons for plea bargains, including that the criminal justice system would collapse if every case went to trial.

One of the reasons often first pointed to in cases involving sex crimes, is that a plea agreement makes it easier for the victim. It doesn’t. It might spare the victim from telling the story in one courtroom setting. But it doesn’t spare him or her from telling the story. And, in some cases, the victim actually wants to tell the story at trial and doesn’t get the opportunity.

What is also overlooked is that a conviction in any case requires that a jury find that the prosecution has proven beyond a reasonable doubt that the crime charged was committed by the defendant. In cases involving sex crimes especially, guilty is a very difficult verdict to get. A plea bargain can ensure that the perpetrator will be sent to prison for some period of time rather than risk being set free entirely.

Even to get the case to the plea bargain stage, the victim must endure telling the story multiple times, e.g., to family members, police officers, social services, prosecutors, physicians, and mental-health professionals. I know that you had to endure that.


A Parent’s Perspective

I have three daughters, two of whom are now about your age. I also have a daughter who is now just a few years younger than you were when you were attacked. I can tell you that the strongest urge that I have in my life is to protect my children. If something happened to one of them, my first and foremost concern would be their overall health and safety. Sometimes our children’s interests and the interests of the community are one and the same. At particular points in time, though, it may seem that our children’s interests and the interests of the community conflict. If that were to happen with one of my children, I would put her interests first. If that is what your parents did for you when making decisions about you, their minor child at the time, then I believe that they did their best as parents.


A Survivor’s Perspective

When I was fourteen, I testified against my father in court for sexually abusing me throughout my childhood.

My father was in the courtroom, the right of the accused in our legal system. He stared hatefully at me while I sat on the witness stand and answered the prosecutor's questions. I had to describe in graphic detail what he did to me over a seven-year period, some of it violent. When it was over, it was decided, not in consultation with me, that he would plead guilty to whatever offense it was that they offered him.

Plea bargains are not always made to spare the victim from testifying. Plea agreements often take place following the testimony.

My father served time in prison, followed by time in a mental-health facility, and became a registered sex offender. At the time that my father was released, my mother took him back. I was 16 and still living at home. Back then registered sex offenders had to carry a card with them at all times identifying them as such. My father showed his card to me, and my mother asked me to look at it carefully and afterward reminded me of it regularly, as though it was a burden that I had caused him. I moved out when I was 17. At the time, operating in naiveté and denial, I believed that my father had molested only me, learned his lesson, and would never touch another child. I later found out that he molested other victims, and that he has since been in and out of prison for violent crimes. Although I have no contact with either of my parents, the last I heard, he is out again.

I recently filed a written report with law enforcement, and have had several conversations with a detective in the jurisdiction where my father resides, not for the purpose of further punishing my father (there is nothing that I need from him for me), but to warn other potential victims so he cannot hurt anyone else, and so that law enforcement could monitor whether his description matches any unsolved crimes. If he has re-offended, those victims can be helped and other potential victims beyond them protected. It seems to me that the most effective thing that I can do now concerning my father is to make sure I fully warn those charged with the duty to protect innocent people like us from dangerous people like him.


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I am NOT saying that testifying in court is useless. Speaking up is never useless – before court, in court, and after court. My father was put away and placed on sex offender registry, just like John Albert Gardner was put away and placed on that list. Even as inadequate as are our laws, and as painfully short as the enforcement system came to keeping those two monsters from hurting others, they were put away and marked to warn others because two little girls spoke up.

Telling the story is essential for our safety and our healing, and one of the most difficult things imaginable. We must work together so that the story in which any one of us might find ourselves does not become the subject of rank speculation and misguided opinion. Rather, we must ensure that every survivor is supported and uplifted by the community. Our laws must change so that when survivors speak up about violent sex crimes, the result is a life sentence without the possibility of parole for the perpetrator. Victims of violent sex crimes don’t get a second chance; neither should the perpetrators.

From time to time people will say that a particular case will inspire positive change in our laws or our community. And from time to time it will – and that is a very good thing. I want you to know that what you did inspired positive change too. When you spoke up back then, you got that ball rolling. You are a hero.

Adam Lambert and I Love Her

Adam Lambert and I love this woman:




EDITED TO ADD: Apparently Fox blocked content of the video from YouTube, but you can watch it HERE.


Apparently Sue hasn't seen the recent pictures of Adam in Japan with his bedazzled eyes.



I just love a dude with bedazzled eyes. Don't you?

Jamie's Heart

My friend Jamie just might be the most loving human being I have ever known. If you know Jamie, then you know of her love. If you know Jamie in the blogging world, you know that her words are always inspirational, soothing, and encouraging. If this is the your first introduction to Jamie, you'll feel her love now, too.

Jamie's love nurtures.

Jamie's love teaches.

Jamie's love bespeaks.

Jamie's love transcends.

Jamie's love is multifaceted.

Jamie's love is preparing to spread across the planet.

Let's help Jamie get there:
Heart for Africa


Please give. No gift is too small.

"In every grain of sand there is the story of the earth.”
~Rachel Carson

My Third Date with Adam Lambert was Heavenly

My adoration of Adam Lambert was apparent during our first date.

By our second date, judging by the look in his eyes, my adoration of Adam Lambert is requited.

Our third date nearly killed me, but every single hour of hell before and after was worth it for the sixty minutes of HEAVEN during which Adam Lambert sang and danced for me. And 3,499 of our closest friends. What?

Adam Lambert’s first solo concert took place at Fantasy Springs Resort in Indio, California. I will never go back there. Unless Adam Lambert is appearing there again. In which case, I'm buying tickets for Paul Anka. (Yes, he's still alive.) My plan is to go to the Paul Anka concert and hide under the bleachers near the stage listening to Adam Lambert on my iPod and living off granola bars until Adam Lambert's concert begins so I'll have better seats next time. What?

For my loving family, it was a three-hour drive ONE WAY in sometimes pouring rain, which would otherwise have been miserable since I’m a weather wuss. However, I was too sick with a sinus infection, raging sore throat, splitting headache, and onset of stomach flu to care about death by storm, but I still had a faint pulse so no way was I missing the Adam Lambert concert.

Once we arrived I was somewhat surprised to see that the venue was not much better than a high-school gym, albeit a high-school gym that seats 3500. I wasn't kidding about the bleachers, but at least the seats had backs, and every last one of them was filled. The show was scheduled to start at 8 PM, but we had to arrive early because tickets could only be picked up at Will Call. After the opening act, it was another 15 minutes or so before Adam and his band took the stage. My ten-year-old daughter was amazingly patient.

Laura: “Mom, when is Adam Lambert going to sing?”

Me: “Hopefully pretty soon.”

Laura: “How long does it take to put on makeup?”

The sense of anticipation in the crowd was palpable. The chants of “Adam! Adam!” were peppered with the rumbling of feet stomping rhythmically in the bleachers. The people seated around us were chatting amiably as we waited. One of the women in front of us complimented Laura’s outfit, which was all black and included spiked leather bracelets and fishnet gloves. What? My twenty-three-year-old daughter, Courtney, was in town for the weekend and came with us; she remarked about the enthusiastic and motley group of fans. She said, “Mom, I saw a grandma wearing a dress that I considered buying at Forever 21.” I have no idea what would make a woman old enough to be a grandmother dress like that. What?



Adam took the stage looking GLITTERY and announced that he got all "Indio" by wearing feathers. I immediately got up on my feet, as did my theretofore bedraggled family, and we didn’t sit back down until the almost three-hour drive home.

Adam began with “For Your Entertainment,” and moved through other songs from his CD including “Strut,” “Sure Fire Winners,” and “Soaked.” Although Adam’s moves make you think Elvis and Michael Jackson, and his voice makes you think Freddie Mercury, and his style makes you think early Elton and Boy George, he’s all of them and none of them because he’s so clearly . . . Adam Lambert. While he never misses an energetic note with his wide range when he belts out the rock/techno/dance numbers, he is equally captivating when he croons a ballad. “Broken Open” left me (and pretty much everyone) spellbound. Laura was as excited as the rest of the crowd when he did “Mad World.” She danced and sang along to all of his songs; Laura can do Adam Lambert's "For Your Entertainment" scream down to the last warble. (Thus far, Laura won't let me post a video of her scream on YouTube, although I promise you my efforts to bribe her into consent are ongoing.)

Adam always did what the Idol judges advise every contestant to do, he made songs his own including “Whole Lotta Love” back when he performed it during Season 8 on the show. Adam didn’t just sing his own version of “Whole Lotta Love” at this concert, he changed it up again performing an acoustic version that he praised his band for playing since he’d rehearsed it like crazy in his car but they hadn’t. The crowd went wild.

After the slower set, Adam plugged it back in beginning with “Music Again” and later “Sleepwalker.” In a fedora and a vest with peacock-feathered lapels, he pretty much flirted his way through “Fever” and I totally forgot that I had one for real. Adam asked everyone to get up and dance as he ended the concert with “Down the Rabbit Hole.” Where I was sitting, everyone was already up and dancing. In between popping antibiotics and Ibuprofen, I’m still up and dancing to the YouTube videos.

My patient, loving, and totally hot husband, Tom, who is also an ardent rock music snob lover, summed up the evening by describing Adam Lambert's performance as "masterful." I described it as my Favorite Concert Ever.

Adam is a gifted stage entertainer for sure, but he never misses a note with that mad vocal range of his. I'm willing to prove it. I've given an Adam Lambert CD to just about everyone I know for Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day, you name it, and Every. Single. Person. tells me how much they love it. So . . . assuming you're not already among the One Billion Served by my previous frenzy of CD gift giving . . .

I'm going to give away an Adam Lambert "For Your Entertainment" CD in a random drawing to one of you!

You're going to love it. I guarantee it. Even those silly doubters and naysayers among you, and you know who you are and so do I because I saved copies of your emails so I could say "I told you so" later, have come back and emailed me to say those magic words, "Cheri, you were right" and those other magic words, "I love Adam Lambert!" Boo-yah. The cover art alone will make you lick the case. What? Don't worry, I won't lick the one I'm giving away because of my sick germs and all.

To have a chance at the CD, just leave a comment and, hmmm, let's see, since I'm blogging about once a month these days, let's say at midnight on March 31, I will use my Random Number Transmogrifier to pick a winner.

Edited to Add: And we have a winner! Congratulations Patti!