*Laura's school assignment was to write a persuasive essay. It was sent home from school today with a grade of E+ and the teacher's note: "Very convincing!" Laura generously allowed me to post it here where generously equals responsibly, independently, and without waiting.
Mom and Dad, for many years now, I have wanted a cell phone. You have always told me I am too young for a phone, but now that I am ten I think that we can discuss it again. I have been extremely responsible at home, it would give me more independence, and you wouldn't have to wait for me after events.
First of all, I have been extremely responsible at home and at school. At home, I have taken your dishes and washed them and I have helped empty the dishwasher. At school, I have kept my desk clean and organized. Also, I have never left my iPod anywhere and I will be even more cautious with a phone. As you have seen above I am very responsible.
Secondly, it gives me more independence. At home I cannot even pack to go to Los Angeles without you standing over me. I can afford at least 1/3 of it and I won't have to interrupt calls on the home or cell phones to call my friends. Also, I can call you when I get lost. I know you like to monitor my belongings, but I am ten now and I need to have personal belongings. As you can see I really need more independence.
Last, you don't have to wait for me after events, I can just call. During Karate, Art, Knitting, and play dates you always have to wait for me outside, instead you could be getting a massage, having coffee with friends, or having a romantic dinner with each other. After I am done I can call you to pick me up. You can do many things when I have a phone.
As you can see, my responsibility level is high, I need more independence, and you won't have to wait for me after events. I've been waiting several years for a phone and I think now would be the perfect time to get one.
by Laura
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35 comments:
Lol. Lauren chose the same topic for her persuasive essay. Probably because we are the last two sets of 4th grade parents from that school, whose kids don't have cell phones. Lauren's essay was accompanied by a complex excel chart showing how she would earn the money for cell phone bills by doing chores around the house. I love our girls!!!
I can't get two words out of my head... responsible and independence. Laura has written an excellent essay, illustrating both of those words beautifully. Whatever her parents decide, she's a bright, lovely, RESPONSIBLE girl, seeking a skosh of INDEPENDENCE so that her adoring parents can enjoy a massage or romantic dinner. Lucky Mom and Dad!
Besides, she drew Adam Lambark.
Very convincing indeed! I am impressed!!
Now I want to go back 10 years and get those same assurances from my daughter!!
a) "I have taken your dishes and washed them". This is reason enough. She has taken your dishes and washed them. Your dishes.
b) Can you tell her that I will buy her a cell phone and be her driver to play dates, karate, knitting and whatever the monkeys else she wants if I get to either have a massage or a romantic dinner with you?
c) As you can see. She is very responsible. And as you can see. She needs more independence. And as you can see. You and I can have tandem massages.
So, hello? It's time. Buy the child a cell phone.
ILL. AAL.
Well written and very persuasive! I particularly liked the 4th paragraph :-)
Me too ! That fourth paragraph is very pursuasive!
Emptying the dishwasher on a regular basis is in my book, definitely deserving of a cell phone.
I guess this means that cell phones are allowed at Laura's school, right?
Here, cell phones are not allowed before 7th grade, which has given me the perfect opportunity to repeatedly tell my girls N-to-the-O.
The child is brilliant. How can you not allow her a cell phone after this delightful and persuasive argument? Think of all those massages and romantic dinners!
Brilliant!
So...is she getting a cell phone!? ;-) Great job on the essay Laura!
Excellent writing, especially saving her strongest argument for last!
what does E+ mean?
Cell phone today, rocket launcher tomorrow. Is it really worth the risk?
Yeah, as Katy said, Lauren wrote a similar essay. I am beginning to think their school is getting kick-backs from Apple!
At least we know they are teaching the kids well. The teacher is right, Laura's essay was very convincing :)
Very nice persuasive essay. And I completely understand why she wants a cell phone.
The whole growing up thing is just so hard on us parents, isn't it???
I would still give her a few rules -like maybe tell her that she has to let you read her texts, if texting is in your plan, and make sure that the phone is turned off at night. I hear of a lot of kids staying up practically all night texting each other.
Don't get her a phone unless she promises you that she won't call The Boy and tell him to write a persuasive essay, 'cause I would totally buy Laura a phone right this second if it were up to me and I keep telling my child he can't have one.
I would like to have Laura as my third daughter.
I will buy her a cell phone.
I have two daughters right now. I remember to give them their vitamins at least twice a week, and also try to do their laundry on a semi-regular basis.
As you can see, I would be a good person for you to give Laura to.
I am so sorry but it seems time for a phone. What's the culture there? Phones here happen around 12 - 13. Scarlett has been asking for once since she's been 8 and now, turning 12 this summer, we may be heading in that direction.
Go Laura! I hate to see what you construct when you want the car.
Hm, apple---tree. Yes, I'm seeing it. She is GOOOOD.
Oh snap, she's good. So did it work? I love the part about the romantic dinners. I need a romantic dinner. Want to go on a romantic dinner date?
I wrote a persuasive essay in the 9th grade about why I should be allowed to wear makeup, and it TOTALLY worked. So... did it work???
For the love of God, give the girl a cell phone!!!
Oooh! She's getting persuasive! Hold out, Cherie! I know several parents who are now responsible for paying their adult children's cellphone bills (even until they are 40 + year olds!)! Hold out!
What are you waiting for? Get the girl a phone and head out for your romantic dinner, tout de suite! :)
i'd suggest a plan with unlimited texting.
it's a very good persuasive essay, laura. but if it doesn't convince your parents to let you get your own cell phone, be patient.
nothing in life should come *too* easily. keep your eye on the goal and you'll get what you want in life more often than not.
Henry chose to write asking for a PS3. He got two of them.
Certainly a responsible, intelligent girl like Laura, deserves one little ol' phone.
Holy cow, can I use this as an example of what my high schoolers should be doing in their writing??
When I grade persuasive speeches, I look for appeals in logic, ethics, and emotion - your girl hit them all squarely & soundly on the head. Particularly the "you could be getting a massage" part; nicely executed.
Very persuasive! Not having any kids at home, I'm on the fence about a 10 year old having one. Seems so young to me. But then, it's been 12 years since I've had a 10 year old. Things change, or so I've been told.
When the Girl wanted her navel peirced, she made a GIANT collage of all the famous girls that had it and had an essay written about how glamorous she would be, if we let her do this.
It is time to give in. Laura is at the same age that I gave Amelia her cell phone. And I didn't regret it. Except for that time before we had unlimited texting and she racked up $423.00 in text charges in one month. But then we got smart and switched to unlimited.
i notice a somewhat long empty space inserted after reading the essay- i'm guessing laura's plea is still being considered.
well, rome wasn't built in a day, they say.
maybe try an apple a day. bribery isn't bribery if you have an honest heart-- it's giving, which is reputedly better than receiving.
Looks like you're buying a cell phone. Sucker.
(Just not an iPhone, because I would hate to be jealous of a 10-year-old.)
Unbelievable. She's amazing! :) And, too cute for words.
Um daughter of two lawyers? You're doomed.
this is only the beginning...
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