THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS:
Does anyone see Laura in there? We haven't seen her since Saturday.
Summer has barely begun and OOOOO MMMMM GGGGG we're clearly going to have to find some outdoor activities to keep Laura busy. Once we find her.
Or we could reconsider sleep away camp this year. Once we find her.
Consider this conversation earlier in the week, before Laura went missing:
Laura: "I really want to go to sleep-away camp."
Mom: "Not this summer. Maybe in the future."
Laura: "Mom, I'm ready to go to sleep-away camp. It's you and dad who are having trouble."
Mom: "And that's precisely the trouble that's keeping you home."
So, I HINTED that I'm under the weather, but since no hot doctors have been involved in the details (so far), I'm all meh on sharing the details because meh I'm bored of medical details (that don't involve hot doctors).
Meanwhile, I will share another photo because it provides clear and convincing evidence, maybe even evidence beyond a reasonable doubt, the sort of proof people want to see when they have questions. In this case, my photographic evidence demonstrates what mortal men are capable of doing when absolutely necessary.
I had to be driven to a doctor's appointment on Friday. (Not a hot doctor.) (What's up with my karma?) (Frick.) Also, on Friday Laura had an appointment (made a month before the whole needing-to-go-to-the-doctor business happened) to get purple tips put in her hair, which purple tips I'd promised she could have for summer (such colors are not allowed at school, so it had to be summer), and the hairdresser was going on vacation for several weeks, so the appointment had to be Friday. And, gosh darn it, in my weakened condition I decided that if I had to move Heaven and Earth, that kid was getting her purple tips for the summer.
Tom took me to my doctor's appointment and then drove Laura to the hair salon to have purple tips put in her hair, proving that we have our priorities straight. Also? Who said men can't multitask?