Do You Have Old Codes in Your Bundles?

I wasn't sure if my router was trying to break up with my modem, or if my modem was throwing hissy fits, or if my router needed steroids, or if I would never be able to flit around the Blogosphere again because all of my whining about our poor internet connectivity was not solving the problem.

Although he patiently did all that he could do over the phone, my very favorite Genius in all the land lives in another city, so I asked my friend Trish for Tony's telephone number. Because Trish is totally computer savvy and if she likes Tony, then so do I. And then in a wee little tirade I told Tom that I was hiring someone to fix this shit once and for all problem.

Tom said that we should try calling the cable company first.

So I was annoyed that "we" meant "me" and why couldn't I just call someone who would actually show up and fix the problem rather than keep me on the phone forever and ever amen plugging and unplugging and resetting and rebooting before they'd set an appointment for three weeks later on Thursday between the hours of 8AM and 6PM did.

The cable company gave me a new modem, and an amplifier without a crack, and something-or-other kind of cable instead of the wrong kind of cable the last guy used, and suggested that I call customer service to upgrade to turbo something-or-other service, which may or may not cost $13 per month extra. We already know that I handed over my first-born child for good computer service, and that I'm a total poseur at BOSSY's poverty party, so another $13 per month is a no-brainer.

I called customer service to add the turbo something-or-other service.

Customer service told me that I had old codes in my bundles.

I neither paused nor sought clarification. I simply asked what, if anything, needed to be done about the old codes in my bundles.

They told me they could take out the old codes, but with new codes, my bundles would be different.

I neither paused nor sought clarification. I simply asked if there would be any downside to having different bundles.

With different bundles, pricing might change. There was no way to know in advance (really?), but it might go up more than the extra $13 per month. But it might not. No way to know.

And then I got that heady feeling one gets just as she's about to experience the rush of faster internet service. I told them that I was willing to throw caution to the wind! Remove those old codes from my bundles! Let's do this thing!

I could hear the clicking of keys. And then customer service asked me if I wanted to save money and add phone service too. No thanks. I'm happy to pay extra for my current phone service. It always works. More clicking of keys.

Guess what? With those raunchy old codes out of my bundles and the addition of my new turbo-charged internet service, I'm saving $10 per month now.

Turns out I got us hooked up with this turbo something-or-other internet service just in the nick of time.

Laura was apparently getting tired of the slow internet connection too.

I found this note on my desk the night before the cable company came out:



I think she was going to take matters into her own hands.

PROMPTuesday #44: Character Sketch

Rather than hit "PUBLISH POST" lickety split, before my router breaks up with my modem again (or whatever it is that is causing me to lose my effing mind the internet disruptions), I'm taking this time to share my experiences.

I have been having heavy internet connection disruption (do they make a pill for that?) this week. And last week. I'm delighted (and so is my husband who's been within earshot of my cursing accusations whining efforts to fix the problem) that it seems to be working this morning. Connectivity is hit or miss around here, so if I'm still connected after posting this? I'll be over to read your blog. But if you don't see a comment from me, that means my connection is down again. But I won't let you down. Look out of your window. I'll put up a smoke signal.

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It is PROMPTuesday #44: Pastiche over at San Diego Momma.

Deb's prompt this week: Write a character sketch of someone you love (child, partner, pet, mentor, etc.). Detail this person, let us see him or her through your description. Maybe you want to “show” your loved one through action and movement, or perhaps you are viewing him or her in repose. Either way, get down to brass tacks and give us the one you love through your writing.


Character Sketch

It was day one of law school, way back in the early ‘90s. One hundred or so students in section three were crowded into Merrifield Hall. One by one were told to introduce ourselves, and say where we’d been to college. One by one everyone did. Some guy with an Electrical Engineering degree and an MBA from UCLA briefly caught my attention (because smart is hot, yo), but I couldn’t really see him from where I was sitting in the front row. I always sat in the front row.

Before law school started, I had been dating a guy, on and off, who was childless, the beneficiary of a not-large-enough-for-the-lifestyle-he-lived trust fund, and drove around town in a topless jeep with oversized tires. So, after him (someday I will write a post about the reason for that breakup because the aforementioned description was oddly not reason enough back then), I decided that I would not date childless guys any more (because that would fix everything). I thought that a guy with a child or two (two would be my limit), would get it better.

As the first year of law school progressed, I found out that the smart guy with the BSEE and MBA was hot-hot and smart, not just smart-hot.

And so I introduced the hot-hot, smart guy with the BSEE and MBA to one of my friends. They went on a date. But there weren’t really sparks between them. I guess. He later asked me why I set him up with my friend rather than go out with him myself. I told him that it was because I had two children. He looked at me with a partly amused, partly puzzled expression and said, “So?”

He asked me out.

I said no.

I told him I was flattered. I told him that if I were going to go out with someone, it would be him, but I was taking a break from dating. And I had my eye on the (childless) T.A. in Contracts (Not really.) (Sort of.) (But not really.)

The next day after our first class, he carried my books to our next class. And then he started showing up at the end of other classes to carry my books.

Law books are very heavy.

In the cafeteria, he’d get up from his table to carry my tray from the cash register to my table.

Cafeteria trays with a salad and Diet Coke are not heavy.

He started showing up in the library to study with me. And then one day, he asked me if I wanted to study with him that night at the law library at UCLA (we were Loyola students, but UCLA was closer to our homes at the time).

So we studied there. (Yes we did.) (No we didn’t.) (Yes we did.)

Then we fell in like, lust, love, got married, moved to San Diego, had Laura, and he adopted Kristen and Courtney.

The End

In My Parallel Universe

I'm playing with the brilliant, creative, and stunningly beautiful San Diego Momma again, and it isn't even PROMPTuesday. We are Bloggers Gone Wild, I tell you, W.I.L.D.

You can play too. Your mission, should you choose to accept it If you want to play, you have to go see San Diego Momma. There you will find your "assigned" topic in the comment immediately following your comment on her post, which will have a topic from you for the next person.

It's really much simpler than I'm making it seem.

Go on, you'll see.

San Diego Momma will be publishing a list of links to the posts of the posters who were formerly commenters. You're following the bouncing ball, right?

Go to San Diego Momma and check it out. She 'splains it more better.

CLICK HERE TO BE TRANSPORTED TO THE HOME OF THE CREATIVE GENIUS OF SAN DIEGO MOMMA

You get that I'm not doing this well (and curse you law school education for making me so long-winded), and that you should already be at San Diego Momma by now?

Are you going to stop what you're doing this instant and go to San Diego Momma, or do I have to pull this blog over right now?



Okay. I'm back. (And you must be too. Hi! I missed you.)

So.

My assigned topic is to write about a typical day in my parallel universe.

In My Parallel Universe

The globe is not warming.

The desert’s not storming.


All diseases are cured.

Souls and spirits are stirred.


All children are fed.

Each one has a bed.


I listen with my heart and smile.

I know when to go the extra mile.


I know just when to walk away.

I always know just what to say.

EDITED TO ADD (Sunday, February 22, 2009): I was on an airplane earlier today doing grounding meditations at 10,000 feet in the air (I just picked that number at random; I don't know how high airplanes fly from Arizona to California), and there I started thinking about my parallel universe. I realized that although at first glance when the two are compared side by side they appear to be parallel, in fact, they are not. Actually, the two universes are on a path that will intersect at some point in the fourth dimension.

From the Cheap Seats

Tom: "Wow. Her vocals were really terrible."

Cheri: "And still she worked the stage like she was all that and a bag of chips."

Laura: "What? Cow chips?"


(American Idol graphic courtesy of Google Images.)

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Over at San Diego Momma it is PROMPTuesday #43: The Firestarter. Deb's prompt this week is to start a story with that classic beginning by Bulwer-Lytton (and borrowed by Snoopy), "It was a dark and stormy night."

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

“It was a dark and stormy night,” began the narrator. She settled back in her seat and brushed her hand across the bag of popcorn, grabbed a couple of warm kernels, and popped them into her mouth. The taste was divine, partly sweet and partly salty because of her divine method of eating one plain M&M first. She let an M&M melt in her mouth, until the chocolate formed a sweet, creamy film over her tongue, and then she added two pieces of salty, crunchy popcorn. Divine.

She thought that she might have felt awkward alone in the theater but for the dark to hide her. And this made her wonder. Did she dislike being alone, or just having others witness it? She decided that people were less uncomfortable being alone, or seeing someone else alone, at a movie than in a restaurant.

She remembered walking through a Chinese restaurant on Valentine’s Day on her way to use the restroom, and spotting a lovely African-American woman seated alone at a table. There was only one place setting, one glass of white wine, and the woman was reading a book as she used her fork to eat fried rice. As she walked by, the woman looked up from her reading. Their eyes met just for a moment, but before the awkward glance became an understanding nod or smile, they both looked away.

In the dark of the theater, she did not trade glances with anyone. She put another M&M in her mouth, and while it melted, she plucked two warm kernels from the bag of popcorn.

Today I'm Asking You

These are my friends, Chris and Bill, and their two children. The photo by the swimming pool was taken at our house two and a half years ago. Those darling kids in the picture are three and four years old now!

Chris and I became friends in our first year of law school. I know him to be one of the warmest, smartest, and most decent men I have the honor to call my friend. Bill is a man of grace, dignity, and quiet strength. Their family have been guests in our home, and our family has been to theirs. Chris and Bill's dining room table is equipped with booster seats, their bathroom has a potty chair, and their shelves have Baby Einstein DVDs and board books.

Over the years Chris and Bill have supported my children by doing things like buying Girl Scout cookies from Laura, ordering wrapping paper and pizza cards for Courtney's high school sports teams, and helping Kristen with a college research project.

I am sharing a glimpse into the lives of Chris and Bill because today Chris sent me an email. He asked me to help support his family, as he has supported mine.

I have signed my name to the petition at the Courage Campaign, and Chris asked me to pass along the message that more signatures are needed.

From the Courage Campaign website:

On December 19, 2008, Ken Starr and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and seeking to nullify the marriages of 18,000 devoted same-sex couples solemnized before Prop 8 passed.

The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, with a decision expected within 90 days. We . . . ask that the Court enforce the equality promised to each of us by our constitution and invalidate Prop 8.

Today I'm asking you to look at the photos of Chris, Bill, and their two children, and then look deep into your heart. If you agree with me that the beautiful family pictured deserves the same legal protection under the law that my family and yours enjoy, then please click over now and sign the petition before the submission deadline on February 14, 2009.

UPDATE: The Courage Campaign has extended the signing deadline to March 2, 2009. You do not have to sign in person, be a registered voter, or even a U.S. or California citizen to sign. (This is not a petition for a ballot initiative, which has different requirements.) By signing online you will add your name to the Courage Campaign's letter to the state Supreme Court asking that it invalidate Prop 8. Please take a moment to join me, and over 225,000 230,000 280,000 300,000 330,000 350,000 others, in sending a message to judges and lawmakers that we the people want all marriages between two loving adults to have equal protection under the law.

Click here: Courage Campaign Petition

Why We Don't Homeschool

"What is half of 90?"

"45"

"It is not."

"Half of 90 is 45."

"No."

"Okay."

[Pause.]

"It's 45."

"That's what I said."

"No, you didn't."

And I Quote

Laura loves school. She cried on the first Saturday after she'd started Kindergarten when she found out that school was only held Monday through Friday. Her birthday fell on a school day this year, and that morning she said, "Don't even think about sneaking me off to Disneyland for my birthday like you did with Courtney when she was my age."

But this morning Laura said she had a headache, and asked if I would pick her up right after math. (I know. Even with a headache, she didn't want to miss math. It boggles my mind.)

So I did.

When I picked her up she said she still had a headache, but seemed chipper enough.

So on the way home we stopped at the market to pick up a few groceries.

I asked her to help me carry in the bags. She grumbled for a moment, but did so. And on the way into the house from the garage, she began to chatter about her plans for the day.

So while I put away the groceries, I asked Laura to start emptying the dishwasher.

Laura sighed and said, "I don't think you could survive on your own. It's a good thing you have a sick little child here to help you."

Blogthis Didnot Has Arrived!

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Announcing the Birth of

Blogthis Didnot!

Yeah, it has been three months since the wedding, but who's counting?

I was hanging out over at BOSSY's yesterday. While I was there, after BOSSY and I did each other's hair and made prank calls, I spied with my little eye a link to the Volkswagen RoutanBabymaker3000 website. First, I made a baby with Johnny Depp who looks like this:

+ =

Deppalicious

Yes, the baby is named Deppalicious. I let John choose the baby's name because celebrities are really good at that. Then I noticed that Deppalicious looks an awful lot like BOSSY and John Cusack's baby. An. Awful. Lot. Alike.

I have concluded that someone around here has been cheatin'. And, yes, I have a couple of suspects in mind.

Meanwhile, after Trish posted some gory pictures on her blog, she helped a sister out by creating little Blogthis Didnot with pictures of Blog This Mom! and katydidnot, which sort of makes Trish a fertility specialist, technologically speaking.

In case you're wondering why I am the dad, well, hop over to San Diego Blog Bitches and look at the shoe photos on the masthead. Click over. Do it now. Did you see the black motorcycle boots? They're mine. So, yeah, Daddy Cheri.

Kate and I ask that you not send baby gifts. We do, however, want cash, checks, and Apple gift cards.



(Photos not the property of Blog This Mom! and katydidnot were jacked at i am bossy and Google Images.)

We Have a Lucky Ducky Winner (or Two?)!

Seventy wonderful Happy Birthday comments for Laura came in before the deadline (and more since)! We ran the numbers through the random number generator at www.random.org and came up with a lucky ducky winner!

Here are your random numbers:

65 . . .

Comment number sixty-five was Mrs. G!!! (Mrs. G: Your fabulous Gary Rith Pottery ducky mug will be on it's way to you first thing Monday morning.)

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And now, Laura's 9th Birthday in review:

Laura's Ducky Birthday Cake

Every year I outdo myself making a fabulous birthday cake for Laura. It is my one claim to fame in the kitchen. Well, that and the hawt green beans that I sometimes make in the kitchen for Tom . . . .

Laura's Birthday Presents

Laura asked for an American Girl doll (why: to be expected at age nine), a box of Cocoa Puffs (why: these babies are hard to come by when you've got a mama who won't buy this stuff), and a Snuggie (I don't know why). Also, I highly recommend you don't buy a Snuggie, at least not from Snuggie directly. The Snuggie website is impossible to navigate, shipping is an exorbitant ripoff, the order takes forever to arrive, and when your Snuggie is finally delivered you will receive four of them because, as I said, the website is impossible to navigate. If you're still thinking about getting a Snuggie, go check out Chris's Snuggie post and then order it from Amazon. Chris, email me your address. Girlfriend, you're getting the Snuggie you've always wanted, yo, because I have four of them.

Laura and Chrissa Taking Their Flute Lesson
on Laura's Birthday

Your eyes do not deceive you. The doll is standing in front of a tiny music stand, holding a tiny flute. I know. Hawt.

Laura Got Cornrows for Her Birthday

Laura has been wanting to get cornrows forever (I don't know why), and she got them on Saturday. The woman who did them for her was so fast (one hour!) and had such a loving energy that I swear we could feel her spirit as soon as we exited the freeway a mile from her shop.

Laura Loves Her Cornrows

I know. Hawt.




Pyrus calleryana trees bloom in California just in time for Laura's birthday each year, which is why we call it her tree, and take her picture in front of it on her birthday. The tree picture from her birthday last year is here. And the story of Laura's birth, the history of her tree, and photos starting from January 2000 are here.


Thank you blogging buddies for helping to make Laura's birthday special with all of the beautiful wishes she received! Congratulations to Mrs. G. and Chris!