Monday, September 14, 2009

Breast Talk, Including a Covertly Taken Photo

Let’s talk about breasts, shall we?

With a family history of breast cancer (mother and great-grandmother), I take breast care seriously. I support friends and friends of friends who do breast cancer walks. Laura and I do Save Lids to Save Lives each year. I am known to relentlessly pursue and nag anyone whom I find out is overdue for her next mammogram. I drive around with this car magnet on the back of my car:



You get the point.

And yet, my “YOU ARE DUE FOR AN APPOINTMENT” reminder card has been sitting next to my keyboard for a month. I look at that card every day and know that between the mammogram, ultrasound, follow-up office visit, and, if it goes like last time, a second set of mammograms, insurance errors, etc., this will likely take me several telephone calls, followed by several office visits, and will include some vigorous sessions during which my ta-tas are summoned from their ever-southward migration to be prodded, laid bare on a cold slab of metal, marked with a Sharpie, and repeatedly smashed.

Who wouldn’t be procrastinating?

Today, it is my solemn vow to start making that round of telephone calls to get the mammogram appointment process started. I will do it today and not tomorrow because my reminder card says in yellow-highlighted letters that I can only call on M, W, or F to schedule appointments.

And so today I am also reminding you to be sure you’re current on your breast self-exam, mammogram, and pap smear. If you’re not the type to get mammograms, like Gary, or Gary, or Mo, then remind your loved ones, k?

A couple of months ago, Laura noticed that the Save the Ta-Tas magnet on the tailgate was missing from the back of the car. I remembered that my car had been in the shop earlier that week, so I wondered if it had been removed there, but it could have gone missing anyplace, so I didn’t think much more of it. Last week, I had to take my car in again for service. When I was taking care of the paperwork, guess what I spotted behind the service counter:



Yes, that would be my car magnet on the metal filing rack behind the service counter. No, I didn’t ask for it back because I’d already replaced it, and it seemed to be spreading a fine public service announcement right there in the service department. Also, perhaps more importantly, using my finely tuned pretending-to-text technique, I was able to covertly shoot a photo for blogging purposes.

Anywho. A while back, to save on shipping and in case it went missing again, I ordered a couple of extra magnets. So, if you leave a comment that you want a “Save the Ta-Tas” car magnet, I’ll use a random-number transmogrofier to pick a winner from the comments and send you one of my extra magnets for your car or fridge.

46 comments:

Life As I Know It said...

Thanks for the reminders...I am procrastinating too.
And I would LOVE a magnet ;)

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

It is important to enjoy and appreciate tatas, I mean, save the tatas.
Missus went through the wringer, Cheri, just 2 weeks ago, and the tatas are healthy, thanks :)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I'm game for anything that involves a transmogrifier. And saving tatas.

Rima said...

LOVE that the service guys filched your magnet! Who wouldn't want one of those?

P.S. At the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure on Saturday, the best T-Shirt caption was: "These Are Fake - The Real Ones Tried to Kill Me."

kcinnova said...

Always, ALWAYS a good and timely reminder!
I make my appointment every October, since it's an entire month devoted to saving ta-tas.
That magnet would mortify my sons if I put it on the family minivan, but I would take joy in placing it on my husband's truck. Guys appreciate ta-tas. ;)

Shana said...

Can I qualify to win a magnet even tho my mammogram reminder card has been sitting, untouched, since April? I know. I know. I know.

mo.stoneskin said...

Are you saying one of the lads thought the magnet was humourous (of sorts) and nicked it? Despite the extra exposure it was getting could you not have given them all a sharp slap round the face? ;)

Janet said...

I love when you use big words like "ta-tas" and "transmogrofier" ;-)

I can't get mine done cause of the implant!

blognut said...

You are right on time with reminding me to make my appointment. My last one was 9/23/08. It's time. OMG. I hated it, but it's time.

And you do not have to give me one of your magnets, you just have to tell me where I can get one. :)

xo

Miss M said...

Can we save my tatas from a certain little eating machine? I kid, I kid...

Amber M. said...

We also have a family history of breast cancer in our family. In fact, my grandmother was dead at my age...34. We've started to save our Yoplait lids aready, too...now all I need is a tata magnet:-).

Thanks for the prodding.

Hey, I thought you might think this was funny. When Tony and I saw Wicked last weekend, he said the only thing that would have made it any better is if Adam Lambert had showed up to play Fiyero. I think my man has a crush on your man. What the?

katydidnot said...

last time i had one of those appointments there was an earthquake. related? maybe.

i love you and your ta-tas.

Bloggin Betty said...

I totally need a Save the Ta Tas magnet!

She said...

It's been exactly a year for me, too, and I've been ignoring my little postcard, too. So, yep, thanks for the reminder!

And Blognut says you got something for me! Whoot!!!

Pumpkin Delight said...

I love that your mechanics wanted the magnet! That's so cute! Besides the stealing of course. :)
I would love one too!

Woman with kids said...

That is too funny... wonder if they know what it's saving them from, or the just saw the word "ta-tas" and stopped at that?

phd in yogurtry said...

you know they deliberately filched it because they wanted to spread the good word. because if there's one thing I know about auto mechanics, they really want to save the tata's.

and I am religiously 6mos behind in the scheduling of my mammo's. so I can really benefit from some anti-procrastination propaganda. thank you.

dkuroiwa said...

was seriously thinking that you had posted a (covertly taken) boob shot!! i think i might have snorted when i saw the real one.
:-)
thanks for the reminder...debbie's tata's do need the attention...and yes, please, I would like a bumper sticker....thank YOU very much.

Dawn in Austin said...

I always get mine this time of year. I already have my appointment. I don't need a magnet because I helped fight the fight this year, and we have quite a few already. My stepmum battled breast cancer all year. After 6 months of chemo and a radical double mastectomy, she is now cancer free.

I'd like to join Cherie and remind you all to get your mammograms!!

My dad's favorite magnet was "Save Second Base!"

Beth said...

My ta-tas are just fine - June check-up and no need for any follow-up tests. Hurray!
Next up? Or up, up and up...? The good old colon prodding (routine re: family history.) Not looking forward to that.

Sarah J Clark said...

THEY STOLE YOUR MAGNET?! Bastards.

But hey, maybe while women go in for a tune up, they'll see your magnet and become inspired. Yes?

Still... OMGAH! Not nice.

Susan said...

A couple of my friends and I make a weekend of it, since we have to drive to the city for mammograms! We get a hotel room, shop, eat, and yes, have a few congratulatory drinks that the deed is done for the year!

SabrinaT said...

I get a nice card in the mail reminding me to see the Dr.

I would love one of these magnets. I bet the people of Japan would enjoy seeing it everyday!

bernthis said...

Go! I do every year. Then again, I'm Jewish and convinced every day is my last.

Kelly said...

For some reason, I have been keeping up with my mammograms. I forget almost everything else, but I have been very good about this!

MJ said...

Hmmm... Here I thought "ta ta" was either an infant expression for thank you or a British expression for goodbye. Boy, was this an eye-opener!

We don't have a family history so I haven't been subjected to the mammogram yet. The time is coming for the clincher...

Seraphine said...

i like rima's susan b. komen race for the cure tee-shirt sighting. that's a wonderful organization by the way.

Susan said...

I used to have one shaped like a bra that said "Support Our Boobs" and it was removed by someone- hope it is serving a good purpose like yours!

g said...

I would love a magnet!!

How funny that they swiped your magnet, but good on them for displaying it.

Sojourner said...

My colon is next in line for the torture chamber, thank you so much. I would like a magnet.

PS- I wrote a blog post tonight. Don't faint.

Dawn's Dad said...

I can't express enough the need to go in and get the tata's squished on a regular basis. My wife, a nurse, had been to her gyn doctor 6 months before, had a clean and thorough physical but following her mammogram was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer - a lump almost as big around as a AA battery! Not too far south of the collar bone. Neither one of us noticed it until it was pointed out. She is fine now - following chemo and double mastectomy. 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime. If you have a family history of breast or ovarian cancer, please talk with your doctor and get checked for BRAC1 and BRAC2 gene abnormalities. Tatas are great and fun, but being there for your family and kids is definitely more important.

Seraphine said...

1 in 8 is a scary number.
it's like playing
"russian roulette"
with your breasts.

Manic Mommy said...

1. Yes, I'm overdue.
2. I'd love a magnet
3. "Transmorgrifier" = Calvin and Hobbs - HA!

Seraphine said...

i bet the service guys would have given that back to you if you'd said something to them.

The Girl Next Door said...

duh save the tatahs? Yeah count me in. I might even trade you a silly running shirt for it.

and yeah I'm overdue for a pap. you suck for reminding me.wait you don't suck you are a gem. i suck for delaying. b/c last year's pap didn't turn out so well and so? I am procrastinating. Stupid? Yep my second middle name....

Me said...

It's Friday. Did you make the appointment?

bipolawlawyercook said...

Getting my boobs smashed is my birthday present to myself every year, and it's time I scheduled my appointment since November comes soon. Thanks for the reminder, m'dear.

Trannyhead said...

Awesome - I had this page open for like 10 hours or something. If you check your stats, I'm not stalking you - promise.

I just wanted to voice how proud I am of my tatas. When the rest of me looks this shiteous, I have to take my joy where I can.

Gary said...

Good reminder. There is research that shows that women procrastinate partly because they are used to being caregivers and sacrificing themselves for others. They just don't easily take care of themselves.

And they should - we need you!

Minnesota Matron said...

The hypochondriacal matron is up on all! But thanks for the reminder. Cheri -- your blog actually inspired me to get a skin cancer exam. Coast is clear on that front too!

Stu said...

You teased me with your title. That was not the photo I was hoping for :)

-Stu

Yes, yes... I'm a pig

Me said...

It's 4:30 on Wednesday a week and a half later. Did you make the appointment?

Jason, as himself said...

It has been a week since you posted this...have you made that appointment yet?

My mother died of breast cancer you know.

Get your ass in and get your boobs squished. That's an order.

dkuroiwa said...

HellLLLlllllLLoooOOOo!
Is anyone home? Are you there?
Have you fallen and can't get up?
(but if that happened, wouldn't tom or laura help you up?!)
Oh My God! Something's happended?
Quick....someone call Cheri's wife!!
Maybe SHE knows!!!

Seraphine said...

that's it!
a plan to save the world.
"magnetic ta-tas"
brilliant, eh?

CC said...

Obviously the car place kept forgetting theirs. That's why they needed the reminder magnet! ;)