Tom is Annoying and New Toe Symptoms Have Developed

If you were expecting to find out who won the photo caption contest and $25 Amazon gift card, come back tomorrow. When the contest ended at 11:59 PM last night, could Tom be bothered to get out of bed and pick a winner? Pbffft! And then this morning? He was all, "I have a 9 o'clock meeting." Whatever. I can't believe he'd let a little thing like earning a living interfere with my photo contest. Annoying.

In other news, the partial toenail that remained after enduring various procedures and an injection started to come off over the weekend.

Sure, I could have booked my standard Monday morning pedicure with the hot toe doctor to have him remove the nail for me, providing me with more post fodder and possible photos.

But I opted to remove the toenail myself.

You may be wondering why.

I had to teach the hot toe doctor a lesson.

At my last appointment? I found out he's seeing other patients.

You might be wondering how I found out. I used my CIA skillz. When I was lead into the examination room? The paper on the table was crinkled. Someone had been in there before me. Also? There was some casting material residue on the floor. So I'm guessing it was serious.

I'm considering telling the hot toe doctor that I've taken up with someone else, too. You all know that I've already married Adam Lambert in my mind. (Laura was the flower girl. She wouldn't wear a dress. But Adam did. Tom caught the bouquet.) Of course, after finding out that Adam Lambert and Kristen went to high school together (as in the same high school), I might be better off keeping news of this particular imaginary marriage on the down low. Except that Adam Lambert graduated from high school two whole years before Kristen did, so that makes it okay, right?

Meanwhile . . . back to my toe because this supposed to be about me.

After I removed my toenail, new symptoms were uncovered:

There is a vaccine being developed for this, right?


(Wedding photo of Adam Lambert courtesy of Google Images.)