Cheri: Who is your assistant now?
Tom: [NAME].*
Cheri: Is she old?
Tom: No.
Cheri: Is she ugly?
Tom: No.
Cheri: Is she married?
Tom: No.
Cheri: Is she dumb?
Tom: No. She's smart. She even has a law degree.
Cheri: It doesn't sound like she's qualified for the job.
_____________________
Yesterday:
Cheri: Will you please download [NAME]'s* photo from the company directory and email it to me?
Tom [smiles]: What for?
Cheri: For Kate.
Tom: [NAME] is Russian.
Cheri: So?
Tom: I thought Kate likes Indian men.
Cheri: Just because tech support was Indian doesn't mean she likes Indian men exclusively.
Tom: Who's Tech Support?
[Kate would use lower case, as in "tech support," and Tom would use initial caps, as in "Tech Support," so that's how this conversation looked in my head.]
Cheri: The Indian guy she dated. If you didn't know about tech support, what made you think she'd like Indian men?
Tom: You said she'd like the guys at the chess tournament. They were mostly Indian.
Cheri: Ah. But I said that because the guys at the chess tournament were
Tom: Oh. It would probably violate company policy to download someone's photo from the directory.
Cheri: But I'm your wife and I'm a lawyer. Our communications are doubly privileged under the law.
Tom: [Laughs.]
Cheri: And furthermore, Kate is my wife and your wife-in-law, that puts us in a three-way privileged-communications triangle.
Tom: Still, no.
______________
*Names have been omitted to protect the
Posts
33 comments:
I don't think Tom's new assistant sounds qualified either. The VERY first two qualifications are simple (read dumb) and large (read fat).
Can Tom slyly take the person of interest's picture with his phone? Is is sly like a fox/woman that way? Maybe you need to meet him for lunch or coffee and pop in the office with your iphone...
Tom is not being very cooperative.
Frankly, the new assistant is unqualified and should be laid off immediately. I'm sure that somebody's granny would be far more qualified. ANYBODY'S granny....
Doesn't Tom understand your NEED to know about his assistant?
I think you should show up at the office with your iPhone and get a picture of the assistant. If you take Kate with you, then she can see the non-Indian, Russian for herself.
Simple, see?
Your wife would TOTALLY UNDERSTAND your NEED to know about her assistant, and she would reassure you, etc. Husbands DON'T get that need. You are lucky to have both a husband and a wife!
And the fact that you are trying to help your wife find a husband to make your triangle a square, well, that's just so generous and kind of you! ; )
Haha! That sounds like me asking my hubby about his new secretary. hehe ;)
i do not understand tom's position on this. what is this "still, no"? this doesn't make sense. both of his wives have asked for this photo. and we are letting him keep the allegedly qualified assistant. so what's the deal? this will not dissuade us.
As an attorney's wife, and therefore also HIGHLY qualified to voice my opinion...I'm not sure why Tom is having such a closed mind about this all.
Seriously.
You all scare me!
Tom sounds like a sensible chap, a thoughtful man of few words.
:)
I don't see how age, appearance, or marital status is a basis of qualification for an administrative assistant position.
I'm semi-sure Cheri is joking with regard to this matter hence the, "Kate is my wife and your wife-in-law, that puts us in a three-way privileged-communications triangle." Nonetheless, would a certain combination of age, appearance, and marital status really make a difference?
A three way communication triangle? Scandalous.
-Stu
This sounds like a conversation between my husband and I... My husband is equally as elusive about assistants etc. I totally think you and your wife should "stop in" to evaluate... That's what I would do at least (with my wife) :)
Well if he runs off with her you can join my new planned private beach community I just blogged about. No guys allowed except for our own private cabana boys. And I like 'em big and stupid. I like 'em big and... real dumb. (ok if anyone knows what that is from you're older than the hills and really need to join the rest of us on that beach.)
Dear Readers Who Take Me Too Seriously and/or Don't Know Me So Well:
Of course I have checked out Tom's assistant for myself. She's darling. If I were truly worried about it, I'd be so out of here and blogging from a beachfront cabana on a certain private island.
Moreover, Kate and I have agreed that if Tom immediately turns over the requested photo, the alleged-to-be-qualified, verified-to-be-darling assistant may still work with Tom.
I think Tom's new assistant is a hawt woman named Sam or Mel or some other non-gender specific name that made you think she is a he... and that is why he won't let you see a picture.
And if he really is a he and he is smart and hawt and a lawyer you must fix him up with Kate and have a four-way privileged-communications square. Judt be sure to share the details on your blog!
Ha! Things sound fun at your place. ;)
I'm glad your wife is branching out.
And do you always give tom the third degree about his beautiful, smart, unmarried sexetaries?
I have a non work photo of the non-Indian Russian I can send you.... Plus the real question to ask Tom is whether or not his new assistant is as good as the old one.. i think the answer is of course not because the new assistant would not have a non work photo of the non-Indian Russian she can send his wife ... I also have a pic of the new assistant..('cuz I am sly and clever like that.)
Did he show his assistant your photo?
because he's doubly privileged to have YOU in his life.
Tom is being contrary. I say no sex until the photo has been produced.
Whatever is in the photo probably isn't as interesting as what you could cook up in your own imagination.
Snarf. Off with his head!!
Marriage is hard, especially when there are multiple characters.
steph? we love her. yes we do.
I don't get why Tom wouldn't agree to a three-way privileged-communications triangle.
Most men would be totally into that,
Funny! I love to fix people up!
Okay...can I just say that you're awesome!! I love the way you think!!!
I'm so busted ... I'm Tom's assistant. *hangs head in shame*
I think you need to meet him at the office for a lunch date. That would work.
You make married life very appealing.
The new assistant is totally unqualified. She needs a new job ASAP. ;)
Tom is merely aware that jealous fantasies sometimes make for very hawt green beans. He's stokin' ya, baby.
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